Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Wednesday video - Mötley Crüe

First, just stop.  This is not tongue-in-cheek.  I sincerely freaking love this song.  I was a male growing up in the 80's.  Of course I loved this song.  I still do!  It is hair metal at its absolute finest, at its most glorious before the corrosive effects of just-a-bit-too-much-makeup Poison and subsequent, obviously lesser material* took over.**  But, like the rest of Shout at the Devil, this song had a killer riff, edgy vocals, and a great hook. 

But what really elevates this song is the video.  Probably the most underrated and understudied video of all time!  Take a look and remember the awesomeness you had forgotten:

Now, time for the pop quiz.  There is only one question:

1.  Which of the following things in the musical video "Too Young to Fall in Love" by the band collectively known as Mötley Crüe is awesomest?  Is it:
     A.  The real-life and completely accurate depiction of Chinatown, U.S.A.?
     B.  The fact that the Crüe have two handmaidens attending to their every need, not to mention a short Asian kid informant?
     C.  The fact that, during the part where the Crüe is playing instruments, Nikki Sixx isn't playing his bass guitar so much stimulating it?
     D.  The ninjas?
     E.  The grunting sounds during the ninja fight -- that were not even on the original album recording?
     F.  The fact that Tommy Lee can catch nunchaku in mid-air and then knock out the ninja?
     G.  The gong that sounds*** whenever the bad guy**** in the dark John Lennon glasses shows his equal sign tattoo?
     H.  The fact that the Crüe totally ditch the girl once they see that she had an equal sign***** tattoo on her face, even though she's much hotter now and no longer common street trash like she was at the beginning of the video?
     I.  The fact that Tommy Lee isn't 100% sure they should ditch the now-hot girl?
     J.  The rice bowl that has captivated Tommy Lee (really, Tommy Lee owned this video, right?)?
     K.  The surprise that the rice wasn't that good? or
     L.  The gong and the devil horns at the end?

I'll give you a second to consider your answer.


You are correct!!  Whichever answer you picked!  Because they are all equally the awesomest!!******  Yes, it was a trick question!  So everyone passed the test!  Fly your devil horns in celebration!

So, like I was saying.  This song:  awesome.  This video:  awesomest.

**  This is a common and unfortunate phenomenon.  See, i.e., the Beatles led us to the Monkees; Nirvana and Pearl Jam led to...ugh...Limp Bizkit, so-on and so-on, etc.
***  Again, not in the original album recording!
****  Is he bad?  I'm not entirely certain.  Sure, he has ninjas, but that's not an absolute signifier of being not good.  I mean, I would totally have ninjas if I could, and I'm pretty sure I'm not a bad guy.
*****  Or could the tattoo be a precursor to this?  Would certainly shed some light on whether the dude was a "bad guy" or not.  He might actually be a good guy, rescuing street urchins to promote human rights.  But, again, the ninjas.
******  Actually, the correct answer is K.

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